Navigating the dating world can be tricky, especially when you're a queer woman. With so many factors to consider, it can be hard to know what to look for and what to avoid in a potential partner. That's why we reached out to 12 queer women to share their biggest dating red flags.

So, you've been out on a few dates with a new love interest, and things are starting to get serious. But before you dive headfirst into a new relationship, it's important to keep an eye out for any red flags that may indicate potential trouble down the road. Whether it's a lack of communication, controlling behavior, or a history of cheating, it's crucial to be aware of warning signs that could spell trouble in the long run. For a comprehensive list of red flags to watch out for in queer women's dating, check out this article for some helpful tips and insight.

Communication is key

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One of the most common red flags mentioned by our panel of queer women is poor communication. Whether it's being vague about their intentions, constantly canceling plans, or refusing to talk about their feelings, poor communication can be a major warning sign in any relationship.

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Mary, a 28-year-old lesbian from New York, shared her experience with a partner who was always evasive when it came to discussing their future together. "I would bring up the topic of where our relationship was going, and she would always change the subject or give me vague answers," Mary said. "It made me feel like she wasn't taking our relationship seriously, and it ultimately led to our breakup."

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Lack of respect

Another common red flag mentioned by our panelists is a lack of respect. This can manifest in a variety of ways, from being rude to service industry workers to making disrespectful comments about marginalized communities.

Katie, a 32-year-old bisexual woman from Los Angeles, shared her experience with a partner who made derogatory comments about transgender individuals. "I was shocked and disgusted by her remarks," Katie said. "It made me realize that she didn't respect people who were different from her, and I knew I couldn't be with someone like that."

Insecurity and jealousy

Insecurity and jealousy can also be major red flags in a relationship. Whether it's constant accusations of cheating, or trying to control who you spend time with, these behaviors can be toxic and damaging to a relationship.

Sara, a 25-year-old pansexual woman from Chicago, shared her experience with a partner who was extremely jealous and possessive. "She would constantly accuse me of cheating, and would get upset if I spent time with my friends instead of her," Sara said. "It made me feel suffocated and trapped, and I knew I had to end things."

Emotional unavailability

Emotional unavailability is another red flag that many of our panelists mentioned. This can manifest in a variety of ways, from being unable to express emotions to being unwilling to commit to a serious relationship.

Alex, a 30-year-old queer woman from San Francisco, shared her experience with a partner who was emotionally unavailable. "She would never open up to me about her feelings, and would always deflect when I tried to have a serious conversation," Alex said. "It made me feel like she didn't care about me or our relationship, and I eventually had to walk away."

Toxic behaviors

Toxic behaviors, such as manipulation, gaslighting, and emotional abuse, were also mentioned by our panel of queer women as major red flags in a relationship. These behaviors can be extremely damaging and should never be tolerated.

Jenny, a 27-year-old lesbian from Seattle, shared her experience with a partner who was emotionally abusive. "She would constantly belittle me and make me feel like I wasn't good enough," Jenny said. "It took me a long time to realize that I deserved better, and I finally had the courage to leave."

Finding a healthy and fulfilling relationship can be challenging, but by being aware of these red flags, you can better protect yourself and your heart. Remember, you deserve to be with someone who respects and cherishes you for who you are. Don't settle for anything less.